As I write this blog post I am , yet again, preparing myself to embark on a journey with another doctor. Many of those living with a chronic illness can understand this journey far too well. Moving from doctor to doctor in desperate search for a cure, we are continually faced with the harsh realities of our medical system. I can only write from the perspective of an American who has to deal with the American medical system, but I am sure that many of the hardships I have faced in search of treatments are transferable across nations.
Growing up in America, I viewed doctors as saviors, people who knew all the answers and were able to cure any disease. The only illnesses I ever thought of as 'incurable' were illnesses like cancer and HIV, boy was my world about to be rocked. When I first became ill in 2009, my symptoms looked like those of just a common virus. Typical aches, pains, nausea, fatigue, etc. The usual blood tests were drawn and I was cleared by my primary care doctor for mono or any other 'common' viral illness. Leaving the doctor's office I was sure that with rest and fluids I would be back to normal in a week or two, the truth is much different. As weeks passed, my symptoms persisted and continued to get worse. My glands began to swell up to the size of a golf ball and the fatigue became unbearable. At this time I was still attempting to struggle through my college classes, but I knew something was wrong. Once again I went back to the doctor to get more blood tests, but still the same diagnosis. No mono, no serious viral illness, and I would be better in two weeks. Somehow, even with my glands swollen to the size of golf balls, doctors were turning me away - telling me I was going to be fine, and dismissing any or all of my concerns.
Months went by, my glands didn't go down, and my tonsils were 3x the size of normal. I kept thinking that as long as I rested and got enough fluids I was going to be O.K. I mean, the doctors kept telling me I was fine, that my blood tests were 'normal', so I should get better, right? Not right. Because of my faith in doctors and my false belief that they know best, I kept pushing my body, and struggling to get to classes. But enough became enough, it had been almost 4months with persistent and worsening symptoms, and I felt myself slipping away. I began to become incredibly worried. Something was wrong, and I wasn't getting any better. I couldn't make it to my classes because I was too weak to even get out of bed and I was failing out of college, this is when I decided to withdraw and move back home. I was weak, constantly feverish, swollen all over, and had no appetite. I felt like I was dying. There were some days that I was sure my death was imminent and rushed myself to the ER or to the local Urgent Care, only to be turned away - being told that it was some common viral illness. Was I going crazy?! How could trained, medical doctors turn away a patient who was obviously so very sick?!
After I withdrew from college and moved home to the care of my family, our desecrate search for an answer continued. I saw an ENT and was tested for multiple cancers (lymphoma, leukemia, etc) TWO endocrinologists ( one of which was crazy enough to tell me [whilst I was in a wheelchair] that all I needed to do was masturbate in order to get my hormones regulated!!!) an immunologist, an integrative MD, a rheumatologist at the Cleveland Clinic, and an infectious disease specialist at the Cleveland Clinic. Literally, every. single. doctor I went to told me the same thing, "It's just a virus, you will be fine two weeks or so." WHAT?! Are you kidding me?!! By this point, I had been bedridden for months, losing weight fast, and basically waiting to diet. Nothing and no one would help me. I was so weak that I was visiting doctors in a wheel chair, yet they seemed to think that this mysterious virus I had really wasn't doing me much harm, and that I would be better soon. What a farce.
What I had essentially learned from my experiences in the medical system, is that doctors don't know as much as we think they do. When it comes to treating illness, most doctors will just prescribe antibiotics and hopefully the symptoms magically disappear. Now, there are things that doctors do which are wonderful. Just thinking about leaps we have made in surgical procedures is amazing. But for the most part, the majority of illnesses are misunderstood. Doctors usually just treat symptoms, not causes. Prescriptions are handed out to cover up symptoms, such as high blood pressure, anxiety, pain, etc but the root cause of the illness continues to persist. My experiences in the medical system lead me to believe that 1) doctors usually don't really listen to their patients, and 2) hospitals are businesses, and business like money; therefore, patients aren't treated as people, but as dollar signs.
I was continually turned away, continually dismissed, and continually told that I was 'fine' when I obviously wasn't. The extent of my hopelessness was consuming, and I truly began to believe I was crazy. If highly trained doctors couldn't tell me what was wrong with me, or help me get better, then I was doomed to either die, or be sick forever. I had exhausted all options in the medical system, so I began searching elsewhere.
Que in alternative treatments. Cognitive therapy, acupuncture, nutrition, and chiropractic treatments offered me the ray of hope I was so desperately searching for. First, let me note, I was diagnoses and prescribed Cymbalta by a Psychiatrist in 2010 - which acted as a springboard for health due to my new found ability to manage pain. My prescription to cymbalta and my experience in alternative medicine allowed me to heal myself. The philosophy of alternative and holistic medicine is that the human body is capable of healing itself, or regaining it's healthy equilibrium, when it is cared for properly. The practitioners I began seeing in the alternative medicine world took their time trying to truly understand me. For the first time in over a year I felt people were beginning to take my illness seriously. They were giving me hope for a brighter future, a sense of hope that was lost through my experience with the traditional medical system. And that's what happens when the medical system fails. Patients are forced to look within themselves, to find alternative treatments, and to learn how to understand the needs of their own body.
In the next few days I will be embarking on a journey with a naturopathic doctor, one whom I hope will help to shed even more light on what is going on in my body. I may have lost my faith in the medical system, but I have gained faith in the power of my body to heal itself.
If you are searching for alternative doctors in your area, look into finding a licensed naturopath or integrative medicine practitioner.
Until the next time,
Feast From Within
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