Don't be shocked by the title of this post, I am a full blown optimist! But it wasn't until after I had experienced a life threatening illness, years of clinical depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts for me to realize what the heck happiness actually is.
As a child, growing up in America I idolized material culture without even realizing it. Spending time watching TV and movies informed me that success and happiness only comes from external sources like material wealth and 'things' that we can buy. We have all heard the saying, "Money doesn't buy happiness," but I'm not sure any of us reaaaaaly believe/d it. Of course money would make me happy, it sure as hell would make life a lot easier! But living in a culture that promotes the idea of external happiness through material wealth has seriously perverted our understanding of what happiness actually is and how to attain it.
First of all, let me just say, happiness isn't attained. It just IS. Happiness is the balanced and original state of humanity and life. Think of yourself as baby, rather - think of any baby you have ever come in contact with. Babies are the purest form of life. They exist in the state that we are forced to forget. Babies don't worry about bills, about success, about society, about family, friends, work, etc. They just exist as they are. Of course, existing in your purest state of happiness is easier said than done after spending years in a perspective of the world as a harsh, unruly place that only values people who have money or objects. But happiness truly is all around us, all we have to do is SHIFT our perspective in order to see us. We have to choose to see happiness.
Growing up I experienced certain kinds of childhood traumas that left me clinically depress and suicidal for years. I had developed and anxiety disorder and symptoms of PTSD without even realizing it. Through out my teenage years I was in and out of therapists and on any kind of medication that would leave me comatose to the world around me. Of course, no one saw what was really going on. I was skilled at diverting my depression through humor and jokes - always the 'class clown'. But once I got to college, and moved out of my parents house, these symptoms of depression and anxiety magically disappear (imagine that). But at the beginning of my sophomore year of college I was whisked back home by a life threatening, and mysterious, viral infection that would leave me bedridden for a year and fighting for my life. Needless to say, THIS was the darkest period of my life. With no hope from doctors, I often contemplated suicide just to end the amount of physical body pain I was experiencing through my un-treatable illness. I won't go too in depth with what I experienced during those years of my life. Mostly because it is still fresh, and too painful to relive publicly. But it taught me the most important lessons about my life, and motivated me to inspire and empower others to take control of their personal health and happiness.
After 3 years in therapy to treat my depression, anxiety, and PTSD (the mental health toll of a life threatening illness) and years of multiple doctors visits, alternative treatments, spiritual literature, diet changes, and natural supplements - I was able to heal myself from the inside out, and this journey taught me that happiness is not something that is attained by getting that job you want, or buying that car, or taking a trip to that place - it is attained by realizing it was there all along.
Think about it, how many times have you envisioned some object that you want - maybe a car - but once you attain that object, you go right back to however you felt before. This is because you have not realized the happiness within you. Objects will never be able to sustain a state of happiness, they may make us feel great for awhile, but eventually you always go right back to the way you were feeling before.
So, how do we realize that we create our own happiness? Basically, we have to stop trying to get happiness. Give up on being happy. Giving up allows you to truly let happiness into your life. If you are striving for happiness, you are ignoring the happiness that is already there - your focus is still external to yourself. Happiness isn't always easy, and we may not live in an eternal state of bliss. But accepting the happiness within you, and making an effort to change your perspective, truly allows you to be happy NOW, rather than in some imaginary future when you have everything you want.
Now is all we have, and happiness is there for the taking!
I hope this post will inspire you to make small changes through out your day that will aide you in shifting your perspective as to allow more happiness to naturally occur in your life, everyday.
Until next time,
Feast From Within
xoxo
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